A Year of Nonsense

It’s Not As Bad As All That is one year old today. I admit I’m quite acutely surprised I managed to keep this up for as long as I have. I’ve written 36 entries since that night in a good friend’s back garden that sparked this whole mess off and usually these grand projects lose their sheen after a couple of weeks or months and I consign them to the failure pile in the back of my head. I can’t say why I’ve found the commitment for this one and none of the others (the guitar, singing, acting, ventriloquism… one of these is a lie) but I have to conclude that this is a good sign. I still love doing this, my mind is preserved through the exercise it gets on Microsoft Word once a week.

Well it was supposed to be once a week. I guess in that respect this blog (and yes I have come to term with the fact that this is in fact a blog a long time ago) still carries the typical David half-arsedness. In the spirit of birthdays and anniversaries I suppose I should make a resolution that I will inevitably break; I will try harder to update once a week. I can’t promise anything but out of the four or so regular readers I probably have, at least one must be interested. Sorry whichever member of my family or close friend you are, must try harder.

In many ways, and as wanky as it sounds, I’m not the same person who signed up for this WordPress account last year. I’ve lightened up a considerable amount and I’ve experienced things and places I thought I never would. That sort of things tends to snap you out of your funk pretty quickly. When I wrote the first miserable entry here I didn’t expect to leave the country three months afterwards but then again if I had done I may never have even put one word down. I don’t think it’s a misconception that unhappy people can create more creative things that happy people. I doubt it’s a hard and fast rule but most truly excellent music, brilliant novels, classic films and shoddy inconsequential blogs are dreamed up by people whose collective mentality can best be summed up as ‘septic’.

Looking back there’s an awful lot of shit there. There are certain passages that make me cringe when I read them now but then there are those that I can get all the way through without shuddering. As a rule I hate reading back my own work (which is probably why my essays at university were always a little slapdash) so it is with great personal stress I bring to you my Top and Bottom 3 from the last year. In no particular order…

Top 3 – It’s Not As Bad As All That

Old in Clubs – Can’t tell why I like this one so much but it might have something to do with it being the one my cousins first told me they laughed out loud at. That’s all I’m ever really going for, there’s no better feeling in the world than to make someone else laugh.

A Manifesto – My favourite thing about this post is I can hear my own voice reading it out, not the voice I hope others hear. It’s just me being a smartarse and I guess if this isn’t your thing then this whole blog isn’t you thing.

Why E4’s Misfits is fantastic… and why it shouldn’t be – Far and away the most viewed page on the blog (apparently the result of hundreds of poor people searching for the girl in the picture and her tits. Seriously the amount of ‘Antonia Thomas tits’ searches that bring people here is crazy. And there’s another hit! Ha! If you end up here when you’re looking on the Internet for nudity then go get some milk and go back to bed) people seemed to really dig this show. I certainly did, the final episode may have had an annoying plot contrivance but it also had an awesome last scene revelation. This entry is no great work of literary genius (wrong place for that, love) but it’s special to me because it’s one of the few occasions where I have got across exactly what I meant in the way I meant it. With the second series confirmed for the end of this year or the start of next, expect a follow-up entry.

Bottom 3 – It Really Is As Bad As All That

25 Reasons Tim Dowling needs a Dry Slap – This one was just mean-spirited. I don’t hate Tim Dowling, I don’t even know anything about Tim Dowling other than his smug picture on his byline. Sorry Tim, I must have had my knickers in a bunch that day. I still think he wrote a shitty article but then I probably shouldn’t have taken it as seriously as I did. It’s also a little big-headed to think I could critique a guy who is professionally doing something I dream of doing.

A Mixed bag of Christmas Messages – This is just filler, pure and simple. A good advert for not updating every week for the sake of it.

That Old Cliché – A little embarrassing to read now but at least I can take comfort in the fact that I meant every word. This is probably one of the most heartfelt pieces I’ve written (aside from the Soho one) but I can barely read it now, it just strikes me as whiney and pretentious. It’s still important to me because of that one line ‘Why subscribe when you can produce?’ Those are the words that set me off and they’re always in the back of my mind.

So what can you expect from the next year? Well I don’t know we haven’t got there yet have we? If you’re a regular reader thanks for coming back all the time against your better judgment. If this is the first time you’ve read anything here then I hope it hasn’t put you off too much and thank you too. Thanks to Graeme and the Fessers for the spellchecking service normally long after I’ve decided it’s fine and throw it up onto the Internet for all to see my retardation. Thanks to Mum for learning how to operate the web to read this and even comment once! Thanks to Dad for offering comments that often put the original posts to shame (check out his musings on the World Cup entry a couple of weeks ago – I think he’s gunning for my job!) Thanks to Papa for being a continual source of inspiration, thanks to Paul Townend for giving me those words of wisdom from That Old Cliché and thanks to Julia for offering me the chance to get my life sorted out and giving me something to write about! Without the move I probably would have dried up creatively ages ago.

And just for kicks, here’s my blog in word cloud form:

Huh. Really thought there’d be more swear words.

DH.
36 posts, 6 categories, 305 tags, 81 comments.

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One thought on “A Year of Nonsense

  1. Me too! And where are all the weeeeererrrrrrgghh noises? As if they’re not in the word cloud either! (You know what that noise is right? It’s so hard to type!)
    Yes I can hear your voice in A Manifesto too. But I can hear your voice in all of these! The angrier the post, the better, broseph. =P
    and yeah, Dad’s responses = Textbook.

    “In full David mode I commented back that he should find a pub get a pint, watch the match and GET A LIFE!”
    Perhaps he received a round of applause? XD

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